I am not a mix, I am my own person | theunderargument.com

I am not a mix, I am my own person

My identity has always been stuck in-between the ends of different spectrums. I am bisexual, femme, and mixed race. The way I present myself as a queer multiracial woman has never really been accepted in the communities I'm part of. Never queer enough, never light enough, never dark enough, never masculine enough to fit the stereotype of women who love women.

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Version 2.0: loving myself and others my way | theunderargument.com

Version 2.0: loving myself and others my way

My friends and colleagues have always known me as a strong and determined person but I have often been described as aloof and cold. Little did people know that I was wearing a mask that was constructed from all the expectations that my upbringing and society had heaped on me. I didn’t really know what my real self wanted or how she wanted to move through the world.

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No longer ashamed to be full of myself | theunderargument.com

No longer ashamed to be full of myself

I always just stuck out somehow. I was the tallest girl in my class, probably the weirdest too. I'm an only child and I didn't have a normal family life either. My dad left when I was 4 and my mother's mental health problems inevitably meant I grew up in foster care, which was definitely soul-destroying.

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Defining yourself past your sexuality | theunderargument.com

Defining yourself past your sexuality

I spent my queer teenage years in Russia, where looking gay was both an act of resistance and a sign of conformity. It was a rebellion because wearing short hair and boy clothes were like screaming “yes, we exist, we are here, we are taking up space, despite all the fear and violence we deal with”. It was conformity because at the time there was only one way to be a “good queer” – you had to have short hair and boy clothes if you wanted to be taken seriously by the community.

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Loving yourself despite your past and your scars | theunderargument.com

Loving yourself despite your past and your scars

Like many people, I have felt the burden of perfection for most of my life. I was raised in a cult and we were taught to be on a constant quest for spiritual and emotional perfection. Oddly, physical perfection was discounted and we were strictly prohibited from wearing makeup, or dressing anything but modestly.

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It's just a body | theunderargument.com

It's just a body

I’ve struggled with my body image for a long time, mainly because I never felt like I truly inhabited it. When people would comment on my physical appearance I wouldn’t understand – it felt like something detached from myself. Especially when I was 15-19, I really struggled to actually SEE my body, I didn’t have a relationship with it.

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Crohns Disease: Surgery can mean a better life | theunderargument.com

Crohns Disease: Surgery can mean a better life

By Amy

Everyone with Crohns Disease has a story to tell. For me, it had a fairly tight grip until I was 30 and was a very private illness. I’m a woman, and however wrong it may have been, it made me feel less feminine to discuss the symptoms. Everything took planning, even facing a plate of food. I was conflicted by hunger and fear. The potential for pain and embarrassment in getting it wrong was too great not to consider. 

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Speaking up against abuse | theunderargument.com

Speaking up against abuse

By Naomi

Up until recently, there have been a couple subjects I am learning how to become confident to talk openly about from a personal point of view: Rape, Consent and Domestic Violence. 

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The patriarchy you raise your kids in | theunderargument.com

The patriarchy you raise your kids in

By Périne

I was always a tomboy and I still think boys had more fun going on a pirate’s treasure hunts or pretending to fly to the moon or be a superhero while girls would pretend to be grownups raising families and paying bills on our pink calculators, or be princesses or hairdressers!

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Femininity (re)defined | theunderargument.com

Femininity (re)defined

By Genesia

Since I shaved my head I’ve found times when I’ve really not felt feminine. I stopped shaving and that made me feel unfeminine at times too. I realised (and am still realising) that femininity is not defined by how I look or act and that being a woman can’t be boxed. 

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