From insecurities to disability & growth - theunderargument.com

___From insecurities to disability & growth

In September 2018, I had a sudden brain haemorrhage due to the rupture of an AVM. It was a month past my 51st birthday. [...] It has heightened my insecurities in spades, from body awareness, social acceptability and sheer functional ability, whilst challenging my thinking fundamentally.

Read more

I just want to love myself - theunderargument.com

___I just want to love myself

I'm tired of looking in the mirror and feeling like a monster. It all started when I was a child; my mother always controlled my food, telling me I was fat and had to take better care of myself. She suffered a lot from being overweight and did not want me to go through the same thing. I remember her saying to me: "You are quite fat for your age."

Read more

I am more than my spine - theunderargument.com

___I am more than my spine

I always knew there was something wrong with my spine. In school assembly, sat on the floor, when it was time to pray there were rows upon rows of forward-curved backs. Mine always stayed straight, the only bend showing in my neck.

Read more

The voice in my head was wrong - theunderargument.com

___The voice in my head was wrong

As a rebel-from-birth/atheist/mild anarchist, my life has always had me walking in the opposite direction from most people. I was different from my friends at school, oddly so. I specifically shunned the mainstream popular culture and general hobbies and interests they followed together. In retrospect, I wonder why I was in that group at all. This led me to believe that I was weird and different, and my schoolmates didn't shy away from bullying me to remind me. 

Read more

Scarred and beautiful - theunderargument.com

___Scarred and beautiful

I used to hate seeing the scars on my body. And I hated them even more because I inflicted them myself. For many years I poured all of my pain and my insecurities and my frustration into what are now faint white marks, cutting myself open when things felt too painful, or simply too much.

Read more