My irrational goal of perfection -

___My irrational goal of perfection

My irrational goal of perfection -
All my life, I have struggled with meeting my ideal of perfection.

Body changes as a young female triggered my body dysmorphia. The rapid changes to an adult body, which resulted in stretch marks and made me feel unattractive. A feeling that was only accentuated by persisting acne on my back and chest throughout my teens, twenties and on/off during my thirties.

I work very hard to keep in good shape, but my insecurities overshadow my efforts. I can only see the flaws, and can never praise myself for what I could be happy about.

I thought that once my adult back acne cleared, I would enjoy myself more. Instead, I have developed skin pigmentation marks which are growing all over my torso and are causing me new insecurities.

I'm old enough to know that I'm good enough, but in my mind, I'm not and never will be. I struggle to believe people when they compliment me. I don't see what they see.

I'm completely irrational in my goal to meet the perfection I've been seeking from age 11! My message to young females is to never seek it as you will spend your life chasing the impossible. Accept yourselves, so you can have happier and more enjoyable relationships.