Sexy because I have confidence -

___Sexy because I have confidence

As a teenager, I grew full facial hair. I felt so uncomfortable in my skin that I woud have to find time to shave twice a day and cake my face in make-up whenever anyone was around.

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Embracing my sex drive -

___Embracing my sex drive

When I was a teenager growing up, we were all meant to suppress our sexuality and dress down to "protect ourselves from the urges of boys and men". That was what my father used to say to me

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Sexy for me -

___Sexy for me

I'm an abusive relationship and sexual assault survivor turned pole dance performer and instructor. Before I became a pole dancer, my body didn't feel mine.

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What is sexy? -

___What is sexy?

What is sexy? For me, it’s always been a difficult thing to define. And if you can’t define it, how can you be it? What is this elusive thing that we seek - both in others and ourselves - yet can’t say for sure “yes that’s it- that’s it there”?

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I am sexy, in my own right -

___I am sexy, in my own right

Viewing myself as a sexy and sexual human being has been a journey, especially coming from a Christian and conservative Asian family. I spent years repressing my sexual curiosity, attempting to conform to sexist expectations and learning how to hate my body for not moulding itself into the shape my society had set in stone for me.

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Sexy without your permission -

___Sexy without your permission

I had always feared sexy underwear. A bit of fabric. I felt embarrassed trying to wear something which hadn’t been made with a curvy insecure woman in mind. I thought I had to change myself. Methods throughout my early twenties included eating disorders, exercise abuse and self-hatred. Painful beliefs about myself were burned into my thought processes during broad daylight via ‘normal’ relationships and daily media bombardment.

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Smile Love -

___Smile Love

How many times in a day does being a woman fuck with your job? I don't know about other industries or what it's like to work in them, but after nearly ten years in the one I've landed – buckle up, kids, it's storytime.

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My Body: History of a Relationship -

___My Body: History of a Relationship

At 57 years old, I am now clearly an ‘older’ woman. Although I feel strong and comfortable in my body now, it has been a long and complex journey to get here and one that has been shaped by mixed messages from society as well as the comments of others.

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Femininity (re)defined -

___Femininity (re)defined

Since I shaved my head I’ve found times when I’ve really not felt feminine. I stopped shaving and that made me feel unfeminine at times too. I realised (and am still realising) that femininity is not defined by how I look or act and that being a woman can’t be boxed.

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