Scarred and beautiful - theunderargument.com

___Scarred and beautiful

I used to hate seeing the scars on my body. And I hated them even more because I inflicted them myself. For many years I poured all of my pain and my insecurities and my frustration into what are now faint white marks, cutting myself open when things felt too painful, or simply too much.

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Healing in Stillness - theunderargument.com

___Healing in Stillness

When the world ground to a halt mid-March 2020, I had mixed feelings. Sure, the world was going into an (to use the word in every single email sent since March) “unprecedented” time and no one knew what was going to happen - but the chance to just… stop. Process. Ground myself. It wasn’t something I’d had much of a chance to do before. Doing nothing is something I actively avoid, and had more and more since September, when my father passed away. Watching your dad die in your early twenties is not something I’d wish on my worst enemy.

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Craving more connection - theunderargument.com

___Craving more connection

I am in a long term relationship; we marked ten years together this winter. We have always shared a friendship circle and cultivated many new friendships together, but a few years into the relationship, in my early 20s, it hit me hard that I still felt lonely.

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Strength gave me freedom - theunderargument.com

___Strength gave me freedom

I am a 34-year-old freelancing, single mother to the most beautiful 3-year-old girl. I left an unhealthy relationship last year, and we have since managed to divorce amicably. My work has become a dream come true, working on storytelling, communications, illustration and photography for wonderful, small, sustainable brands.

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No more excuses - theunderargument.com

___No more excuses

I have always been happiest doing the things I love - as a child, I was a bespectacled bookworm, my head full of stories and my imagination constantly running away with me. So many of the narratives I read were full of passive women; women who had things happen to them rather than did things themselves.

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I am not a thing - theunderargument.com

___I am not a thing

I am a non-binary, hairy, chronically ill, tattooed burlesque performer. I am not a girl. I am not a woman. I am not a piece of meat. I am not here to be something nice to look at. I am not a thing. I am sexy and kinky and dark and gentle and soft and kind. I am a human being. 

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I was really good at my job - theunderargument.com

___I was really good at my job

I’m an ex-prison officer. The ‘ex’ part of that statement is still pretty new. I was forced to leave the job because of the effect it began to have on my mental health. And although I was very aware of how my mind was failing to cope, it took me a while to realise the effect it was having on my body. 

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Being inspired again - theunderargument.com

___Being inspired again

The last thing I thought about was myself, my body or my sexuality after becoming a single mother in my early thirties. This was 20 years ago. Like many women in this situation, my sole purpose of existence was raising a family and earning the money for it.

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My Body: History of a Relationship - theunderargument.com

___My Body: History of a Relationship

At 57 years old, I am now clearly an ‘older’ woman. Although I feel strong and comfortable in my body now, it has been a long and complex journey to get here and one that has been shaped by mixed messages from society as well as the comments of others.

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