Embracing my sex drive | theunderargument.com

Embracing my sex drive

Embracing my sex drive | theunderargument.com

By Beverley

When I was a teenager growing up, we were all meant to suppress our sexuality and dress down to "protect ourselves from the urges of boys and men". That was what my father used to say to me. To look sexy or admit to having a high sex drive was frowned upon; that wasn't how nice girls behaved, and this mindset followed me well into adulthood.

In my 20s, I constantly over analysed myself; why was I sleeping with so many men, dressing provocatively, feeling the need to seek connections in alternative clubs? Was it for attention, did I have low self-esteem? I concluded that I was either a freak or a slut and that one day I would just grow out of it when I had a settled life. This torment continued over the years.

I'm 47 now, and nothing has changed since I was a young girl. But thankfully, my mindset has changed with age. As a mother of beautiful boys, I know now that I definitely don't have low self-esteem issues and that I do not seek approval on how my body looks. Even with my two C section scars, I'm happy and confident in my body. I love looking good, dressing up, wearing nice lingerie or make-up, and I enjoy my sexual urges knowing now that it is for me to make ME happy.

I wish I could have met my future self when I was a young girl and told her to embrace her sexuality and that she's not weird or deviant, but that it is simply who she is. I would have told her never to feel ashamed about it and convinced her not to give a F**k what anyone else thinks.

Not all girls who like sex are sluts, not all girls who are not openly sexual are frigid, and not all boys/men are only after one thing. I have known many boys and men who are deeply sensitive and definitely not as sexual as me.

We're all unique in our sexuality, and no one should ever be judged for their individuality.

 

Beverley x the anti-casting 

All the womxn featured on the underargument have been selected based on the personal story they shared with us which was inspired by one of our collections' themes. We only receive stories, no photos and no measurements. This is what we call the anti-casting and it is our way of reclaiming the representation of women's diversity and utilising the power of storytelling to empower ourselves and others. Find out more and maybe submit your story too here

Beverley is wearing collection no.04 For sexy // Against sexism